fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my liver is dry heaving
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
