your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
