Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
