where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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