Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
