so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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