dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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