so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize