If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
