There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Panties = found
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
