whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
