What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
