Whoa Z and x make the same sound
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
