I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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