Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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