Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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