I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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