We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
