he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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