I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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