His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
