My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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