just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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