sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
