I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
