I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
