Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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