Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
from now on my penis is your penis
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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