just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
