Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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