Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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