Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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