im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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