We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
