Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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