I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
