Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
