my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
