This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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