I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
