so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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