I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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