Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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