I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish there were birth control emojis
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
