loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if only i could text you this smell
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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