i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
