I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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