let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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