I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
