It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
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I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize