She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
