he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
