I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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