The maid of honor just puked.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Randomize