She said her name was "party"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
