her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
