I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How does it feel to date your dad?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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