I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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