Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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