Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize