The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
