he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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