It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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