If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
false alarm. still invincible.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
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